Tourism - Day 95: New York City

I was an urban hiker today, which felt like a more standard form of tourism. I wandered through Central Park, where I met a smiling monk who attempted to attach a friendship bracelet to my wrist in order to sell it to me after the fact. I went to the Natural History Museum, which was surrounded by heavily-armed and heavily-armored guards for some reason. I assumed it was dinosaur control. I went through Times Square and experienced the incredible density of advertisement. I also made it down to Battery Park, where I vaguely kind-of saw the Statue of Liberty at a distance.

I also saw the Atlantic Ocean, which felt... scary. Technically, I made it. I could be done. To avoid the pressure of needing to actually reach the other side of the country, I had been telling people that plan for this trip was just to ride east until it sucked or I hit an ocean. The latter had basically occurred. But I didn't want to be done, and made it a point not to touch the water. I'm not sure how I would've accomplished that without doing something drastic anyway.

When traveling, my concerns are simple, immediate, and actionable: eat food, go east, and keep my bike and body somewhat functional so I can continue eating food and going east. Every day, these tasks take a slightly different form, just enough to be novel and satisfying to complete. Even better, I can do whatever I want without guilt once those tasks are complete.

When stationary, the immediate challenges are taken care of: food is in the refrigerator and my body only really needs to sit comfortably. Somehow, that makes things more complicated. Eating, traveling, and other simple concerns aren't engaging, they're just distractions from long-term anxieties that never go away. I need to act and will never be done.

Obviously, this is a mindset issue more than a physical reality, but one's state of mind is just as real as anything else. I can theorize about how to straighten myself out and be happy as a normal member of society, but I'm not sure how useful that would be until I'm in a better headspace. For now, I'll just avoid touching the Atlantic so I don't have to think about it. Especially since that might force me to confront the idea that this entire trip was just an ill-fated attempt to deny my responsibilities.